What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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