i think i have herpe
just one?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
