my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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