WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize