I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
