What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize