it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
