I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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