I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
