He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
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Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
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Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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