remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
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My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
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It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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