In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
