I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I have aggressive nipples.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
