Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
