At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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