Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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