I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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