My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
what is it with giant penises always finding me
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
