Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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