Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
