forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Randomize
