ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
