please come you make the beer taste better
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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