....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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