And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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