My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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