so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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