Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.