you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.