i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor