Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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