Texts From Last Night

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  (607): View more from New York

  can we get nightvision for the apartment?

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  (607): can we get nightvision for the apartment? http://tfl.nu/dotm
  Replies (7) Good night (3150) Bad night (578)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.

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  (281): Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle. http://tfl.nu/lbmt
  Replies (43) Good night (6439) Bad night (992)
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  (310): View more from California

  my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.

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  (310): my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me. http://tfl.nu/1ci0
  Replies (57) Good night (2426) Bad night (6791)
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  (845): View more from New York

  People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk

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  (845): People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk http://tfl.nu/qmhf
  Replies (4) Good night (5687) Bad night (529)
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  (631): View more from New York

  there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"

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  (631): there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship" http://tfl.nu/t0by
  Replies (24) Good night (1263) Bad night (3843)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.

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  (+44): the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men. http://tfl.nu/tbrv
  Replies (19) Good night (4024) Bad night (1036)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world

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  (515): Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world http://tfl.nu/v7kq
  Replies (7) Good night (755) Bad night (3648)
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  (315): View more from New York

  i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.

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  (315): i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over. http://tfl.nu/n0ys
  Replies (15) Good night (8603) Bad night (1183)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question

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  (303): No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question http://tfl.nu/r4al
  Replies (7) Good night (3208) Bad night (986)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.

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  (847): Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light. http://tfl.nu/vezf
  Replies (5) Good night (2698) Bad night (659)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.

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  (505): He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink. http://tfl.nu/5ult
  Replies (4) Good night (808) Bad night (425)
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  (607): View more from New York

  There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.

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  (607): There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor. http://tfl.nu/j4bf
  Replies (13) Good night (2547) Bad night (634)
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  (716): View more from New York

  she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world

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  (716): she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world http://tfl.nu/4gui
  Replies (5) Good night (722) Bad night (245)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change

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  (301): I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change http://tfl.nu/8tjs
  Replies (2) Good night (255) Bad night (388)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.

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  (919): He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well. http://tfl.nu/lw4a
  Replies (2) Good night (318) Bad night (1023)

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