she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
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One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence