You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
no that's ok