dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
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