Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize