Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
