so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
