well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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