just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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