Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
