Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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