Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
