I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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