this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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