I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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