I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
