dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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