Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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