problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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