god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
