Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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