Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
