how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
