You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
