sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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