Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize