Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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