You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
