you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
