he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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