There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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