I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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