Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
