She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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