i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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