i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
