I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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